"In a relationship..."

So, remember I wrote a post a couple of months ago called 'Dear Single-Man-Who-I-Like'?  And remember the other brave man who replied?

Well, turns out we like each other! :-)  This last couple of months have been the most incredible adventure in loads of different ways, but most of all in finding that this amazing guy wants to spend time with me and get to know me.  And it all started from a chance meeting, and me publishing most of my various personal struggles on my blog!

And so I find myself no longer 'single' but 'in a relationship'.  A friend asked me recently if I'm feeling relieved now that I'm not single any more.  My answer was, "No".  'Relieved' feels like the wrong word.  I'm definitely happy - REALLY happy!  And yes there is a certain angst about being single that has gone - the wondering why no-one wants to be in a relationship with me - if there's something wrong with me, if I'll be single all my life, if I will ever meet someone, and if so how long will it be before that happens?

But being 'in a relationship' is definitely not a fix for all of life's problems.  Don't get me wrong, it's a really good thing and I'm loving having someone to share life with, but if I let myself think being in a relationship is the only way to be really happy, I know (from experience, sadly) I'm most likely going to end up disappointed.  

Although we're both followers of Jesus, we're still broken people who carry the scars of past hurts and failures, and continue to sin and struggle with this fallen world.  So I can't for a minute ease up my grip on my relationship with God now that I have a man in my life.  I need God just as much whether I'm single or in a relationship.

I'm learning that relationships are primarily ministry to each other.  I have the awesome privilege of getting to know another human being very deeply - of being trusted with his heart and his story.  And I must also learn to be known and loved, and while that seems like a wonderful thing, it is really scary to open up a heart that's been broken before and risk it on someone new.  I'm not sure I could do it without faith that God is with us and in us.

I am hoping and praying for more open and honest conversation among Christians about our relationship statuses, because when you think about it every adult is somewhere on the spectrum of 'single - liking someone - dating - in a relationship - getting over a relationship - married - separated - divorced - widowed - remarried - etc', and no matter where you are on the spectrum, emotions run high.

Where are you on the relationship spectrum right now, and what are your learning about God, yourself and others through the experience?  And if you're brave enough to share your thoughts, join in the conversation by leaving me a comment!